Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize