I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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