Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
