I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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