Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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