ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
