I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize