Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
tell me about the eggs
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
