So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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