I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Randomize
