do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
