took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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