suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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