Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
