margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
