I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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