I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
