Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
