I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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