I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
