Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
