I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
