i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
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did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??