Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
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..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
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yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever