You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.