I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
