Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
