At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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