I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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