no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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