the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
