i don't like sucking hair
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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