I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
