It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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