Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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