I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
