I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize