you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
