why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
