U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
