he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
