how can u be prego again
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
