please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
