i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
