i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
