who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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