there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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