$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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