I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
