I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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