I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
