We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
