ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she smelled like a LAN party
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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