Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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