I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
