Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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