Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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