My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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