he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
