Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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