Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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